At Magna Radio, we take the important things in life very seriously.
Things like queue etiquette. Group chats. And people who say they’re “five minutes away” when they’re very much still at home.
Following the success of the first 10 laws in the Magna Charter – a feature on Adam’s Show, it’s time to expand the sacred rulebook. These are the everyday crimes we all recognise and the completely fair consequences that come with them. Let us know if we should publish the book for listeners!
Welcome to Laws 11 to 20.
Crime: If you say “I’m five minutes away” but you’re still at home.Punishment: You must pay a late tax. The first round of drinks or the takeaway is on you.
Crime: If you block a supermarket aisle for a catch-up.Punishment: Your trolley is confiscated and you are relocated to the frozen aisle until you cool off.
Crime: If you panic buy petrol because someone on Facebook said there might be a shortage.Punishment: You must give three lifts to strangers until your tank returns to a sensible level.
Crime: If you keep your sunglasses on indoors because it is “still sunny outside”.Punishment: You must remain in character as a mysterious celebrity for the rest of the day and sign autographs.
Crime: If you hide the remote so nobody else can change the channel.Punishment: You must act as a human footstool for the duration of the viewing. You also lose all voting rights on what to watch next.
Crime: If you pretend not to realise there is a queue and walk straight to the front.Punishment: You must return to the back and loudly apologise to every single person.
Crime: If you read a message and reply three days later with “Just seen this”.Punishment: You must organise the next meet-up and pay for the food or drinks.
Crime: If you say “I’ll just bring a small bag” and arrive with three suitcases.Punishment: You must carry everyone else’s luggage too.
